I thought I would have to wait awhile for an opportunity to talk with Butterfly about having a dad. But it has come up twice just in the past couple days. Once when she was playing princess and calling me "Father". I asked her how she felt about not having a father. She said sad. She said that is why she likes to play "father" sometimes. So we talked about it for a few minutes and I told her that we could talk about it any time... and that she did not have to be afraid to bring it up. I actually sensed some relief from her- like something unnamed had finally been brought in to the open. Or maybe I am projecting my own feelings.

It came up again a day or two later. We were at the corner store talking to the owner about our weekend. The owner said something to Butterfly Girl about how lucky she was to have a mom and dad to take her to the snow. I probably didn't handle it right...I didn't say to the store owner "she has two moms". I just finished paying and we left.  On the walk home I asked Butterfly how that made her feel. She just kind of shrugged. I told her that people make lots of assumptions about families and reminded her that we are all different and that is okay. 

Maybe I should have said something to the owner. Not sure why I didn't.I imagine it is partly out of fear of rejection... I don't want Butterfly to see the owner change the way she interacts with us or whatever. And partly I just don't like to deal with it- it is like coming out all the time- sometimes I just get tired of correcting people.   I will have to figure that out for myself at some point. I should probably make a point of it when I am with the kids though...just to model for them. They will have to do that their whole lives too.