This year it did not go silent when her name was called. I heard clapping and cheering- several classmates shouted out her name. She stuck her tongue out at no one in particular before she stood up. Then she walked slowly, head down with the famous Butterfly Girl scowl sprawled across her face. I was so proud- that was my girl. Some parent behind me said "Oh my- that is an unhappy girl." I decided not to turn around and see who it was. I didn't want anything to ruin our moment. Actually, the woman's comment kinda made it all perfect- there has all been something bittersweet about every moment in Butterfly's short life. The fact was, this woman was making an observation of Butterfly on the outside. The secret with Butterfly Girl is always on the inside. Butterfly was happy. And Butterfly was very proud. I bet she heard everyone of her schoolmates that cheered and shouted for her.
The year has certainly had its ups and downs. We started the year at the public school near our old house. We felt so normal the first few days walking Butterfly to school, sharing smiles and morning nods over portable cups of coffee. But then, Butterfly Girl started getting sent to the Principal's office several times a week, The kids teased her and would not play with her. The Teacher became frustrated and asked for us to consider IEP and Special Ed. Butterfly was suspended from school and sent home early countless times. They wanted her to only come for a half day. They questioned our parenting. They told us something was wrong with Butterfly. Parents and Teachers began to look at us differently. We got sucked into a horrible dark hole with constant battles with Principal, Teacher, school psychiatrist.... We began to take Butterfly to an outside Psychiatrist while we desperately searched for answers. Then one day Butterfly Girl was attacked by a group of girls on the play yard- they pulled down her pants and kicked her while she lay crying on the asphalt. That was her last day at the other School. That day we swore we would never put her back in the "system."
And then, like some miracle, we got a call from the charter school that same afternoon. A spot had opened. We could start on Monday. We cried with joy. Little did we know at that moment what a wonderful, life changing experience we were about to embark on. I began to read everything I could on this new way to communicate- Non Violent Communication. I practiced with Partner and the kids. Butterfly connected with one of her Teacher's and the Teacher connected with her. Transformations began to happen. A veil was lifted and we could see some hope. The Teacher became a pillar of support. The school and the philosophy became the foundation for our much stronger family. Butterfly stopped seeing the Psychiatrist. She had a few Reflection days (days when she was sent home from school because she was struggling to be there). There were still phone calls from the school- but this time it was to provide Butterfly the opportunity to talk with us- we would support her and help to bring her back to a place where she could function for the remainder of the school day. But most importantly, Butterfly made some friends. She had play dates and even had her first sleep over!
Butterfly graduated kindergarten.
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