When the gong rang to start the day, the Teacher said we were headed to the Church Hall (we share the campus with a church) to watch the inauguration. I was thrilled! All 125 students piled in to the hall and listened with relative quietness as Obama gave his speech. I felt great watching this next generation observe this historic moment.
Later in the day, Obama showed up at the school for a press conference with the 1/2 graders. Obviously, it wasn't really Obama but he did look like him! I wondered over to watch the mock press conference for a bit. Started with questions like "Is there a swimming pool in the White House?" But then it started to get tough with questions about global warming and the war. Obama stopped by Butterfly's class on the way out to say hello. Butterfly stopped still in her tracks and stared at him with her mouth wide open until he left. She couldn't believe it! What a school! I love it.
The day unfolded with activities in the classroom, playtime, PE (which consists of jump ropes and hula hoops) and journaling/painting in the outdoor classroom. I tried my best to assist the Teacher but found myself tripping up more than once around this new language. I felt like a sponge- following around the adults and trying to absorb the language. All in all I had a great day with Butterfly.
That night, Partner and I went to see Therapist. I was worried. Not sure what he was going to throw at us. I felt really good about the session by the end. I felt good about him and his insights. Basically, he doesn't think Butterfly has a "psychological diagnosis". He thinks the behavior stems from anxiety and over-sensitivity.
He also thinks she is smart -above average intelligence which can be hard for a kid like her. He said that she feels things very deeply but cognitively she does not have the ability to connect her feelings with her head- so she gets frustrated because she knows she feels it but can't understand it. She is just a little out of synch. He explained it much better.
It all clicked for me as we talked about it. Her difficulty keeping friends. Her difficulty navigating relationships and social situations. Her deep need to connect but her fear to connect. Her need to be controlling. Her need to be perfect. On and on and on. Because she is so anxious, Butterfly tries to control social situations which, in turn, makes it difficult for her to interact. She so deeply craves human connection while at the same time being terrified of opening herself up to that vulnerability.
I talked about the fact that she did not want to go back to see Therapist. He said that he had been concerned about how he had ended the last session. She had opened up a little bit to him. At that time, he wasn't sure if he was going to see her again so he said that maybe they would get together again. He said he noticed then how Butterfly crumpled inward.
We think that Butterfly had started to let him in a little and then felt rejected. So when she talked to me Butterfly was angry and wanted to reject him by saying she would never go back to protect herself. Sensitivity can be a real bitch.
He also told us not to be surprised if the "honeymoon" ended at school and the behavior resurfaced. He said that might actually be a blessing- meaning that she would feel comfortable enough to let her feelings out. That makes sense but we sure are enjoying the honeymoon.
Anyway, we decided that she could really benefit from ongoing therapy. He thinks once a week for the next year. Hopefully, help her transition to the new school, work through some issues, develop skills, etc. We decided to stick with him. Butterfly has already opened up to him. And I feel good- he hasn't compartmentalized Butterfly. He has talked about her as the complex little girl she is. He sees hope and promise. That is a good thing to see on this inauguration day.
We feel good about it. She now has a standing appointment every Tuesday at 5:30.
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