Then, yesterday morning she asked about school. How many days left of vacation? That evening when she asked again at supper I asked her how she was feeling about returning. Butterfly said she was excited because she wanted to bring her new diary to school. Anytime she felt like she needed to write or draw, she would just tell Teacher and start writing.
My heart sunk. Teacher will not allow her to have the diary in class. We have already talked to the school about it. I told Butterfly we would talk to Teacher on monday. She started grinding her teeth.
Later, Butterfly threw a toy at Brother - the first time in over a week. I noticed the shift when I put her in time out. It was more difficult for her to re-regulate. She was super frustrated. She was angry.
Partner and I talked about it later. We think starting Monday we will voluntarily pull Butterfly from school early- give her half days. We are so tempted to just keep her home. We can feel the pressure building in her. It seems cruel to even send her to the school. It is so clearly not not a healthy environment for Butterfly. We hope the psychiatrist will give us some direction tomorrow when we meet him for the first time tomorrow.
No word back from the charter school yet. In our minds, we have begun to imagine again how great that place would be for Butterfly. If Butterfly wanted to write in her diary all day, she could. They would encourage her to try new letters, write about new ideas. If the school opens, we will need to be very objective in what she would actually be permitted. It is easy to imagine things would be different or better elsewhere.
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