A Fresh Start

We decided. 

Yesterday, Partner spent the day at the Charter- with little Brother because he did not have school. It is such a different environment. She spoke with the woman staff person who helps with transitions, she met the teachers and talked with the Principal. She observed classroom time and playground time. They actually have an outdoor classroom. 

Partner talked about Butterfly's struggles. They said they have worked with it before. They said if aggression becomes an on-going issue, that Butterfly would have a reflection day- so she can reconnect with her family, become grounded again.... they just have a different way of talking about things. They hold our views.

Partner also took both kids for a playdate at a friend's home later that afternoon. The friend has a kid in school with Brother and also a kid in 3rd grade at the Charter. Her kid at the charter has OCD and has thrived in the school.  The kids can write passes to go to visit other rooms during the day.  Her son said he will write a pass to go check on Butterfly. That mad Butterfly feel good.

Partner met another mom  at the school. Her kid has severe sensitivity issues and is doing well.  He just transferred last week.  The mother actually stays at the school with her kid all day- and the teachers like that.

Yesterday, at her regular school, Butterfly was attacked on the yard by another little girl. Attacked is the Principal's word -not mine- although I agree with it. Partner rushed to the school to pick her up- she was crying and shaking uncontrollably.  Butterfly kept saying "I tried to walk away, I tried to walk away." It happened on the yard- fortunately, a teacher saw it this time so Butterfly was not automatically blamed. Principal was not comforting Butterfly when Partner arrived. Butterfly was sitting in a chair by herself, Principal working behind her desk.

The little girl started calling her stupid and ugly. Then she jumped on her, pulled out a huge chunk of hair, ripped her pants off while the other little girls watched.

I have noticed a shift in Butterfly this week. There have been no incidents at home or school. She is quick to apologize. She basically does not interact with the other children in her class. On the walk to school yesterday, she told me how she is not "mean" anymore. That she tries hard to be nice. That it is hardest when the kids call her stupid and ugly. It makes her want to hurt them. 

I cannot in good faith keep taking her to that school every morning. In my bones it does not feel right. When Partner talked about the new school, Butterfly said she wants to go. We talked about it as an opportunity to start over. To take everything she has learned and move to this new school. Butterfly is ready to move.  Partner and I are not kidding ourselves- we know the issues will continue, maybe even flare up. The Teachers might get frustrated here too. But, Butterfly is in therapy now. We have a school with only 125 students- she can stay there through 8th grade. Brother can attend also. They have more experience working with kids "like" Butterfly. They want us to be involved in every step. 

Monday will be Butterfly's first day. We will be there with her. A fresh start.