The Playground in the Morning

Today Teacher gave us paperwork to fill out. We will meet next week for a SST (Student Success Team Meeting). Of course, I am trying to be open minded but I already feel a shift in Teacher. I can tell she is frustrated- no longer my answer to all our questions. I feel like she is even more than frustrated- fed up fits better. I feel like the other moms in class are looking at us differently. Being more stand offish.

It has happened at every school. Butterfly Girl has been to 5 in just 5 short years. I always second guess myself. Try to tell myself that I am just reading into it. I imagine that it must be me- I have started to give off a different vibe to Teacher and the other mothers. But I don't think I am imagining it. Butterfly Girl has stopped getting invites for play dates. The mother's stop talking when I walk up. I keep my head high. I don't care- I won't care. I love my kid.

In the yard before the school door opens, I find that Butterfly Girl and I are are alone together, off to the side not talking to anyone. I don't want her to feel like I do so I smile and say hello to everyone - I try to demonstrate how being friendly will overcome any meanness. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for me either. Mothers still avoid me. I am remembering from days long past that a playground can feel so lonely.

But Butterfly Girl and I will persevere. We will find a place somewhere, someday where we are not different. Until that day, we will hold our heads up and walk through the playground together.