Thinking of Back-Up Plans

There is some change that is so subtle that is happening with Butterfly Girl. besides the great success at school and significant behavior changes I am noticing something more subtle. It is almost a different energy. I hear her say okay more often. I notice that when things start to erupt I can still get through to her - I can help her stay grounded. She is able to "come back" and talk through it. She is so much more relaxed and patient. Don't get me wrong- she is still Butterfly Girl with all her defiance and sensitivity wrapped in to one little bundle- it just seems maybe the bundle isn't wrapped so tightly now. 

I am so worried about the school. I really can't figure out what we will do. Tonight we are going (hopefully) to a party with some of the parents from the school. They are going to have a fire and a  drumming circle- try to raise some good energy for the school. Part of me just doesn't want to think about it at all. The other part says I need to be realistic and imagine the worst case scenario happened so we can create a back up plan for our little Butterfly Girl. it is completely overwhelming and consuming when I do think about it. I can't bear telling this little girl that she has to move schools again. I feel like that will be such a let down for her. A violation of her trust in us. If the school closes, I have to hope that she has gained enough of a foundation to be able to hold onto what she has learned. It pains me so much. 

There is no way we will send her back to a regular school. I don't know where else we could send her though. Maybe home school... I am wondering if some of the other families might choose homeschooling- we could all still meet for playdates, field trips, learning groups, etc... Some of the parents are just checking with their local schools and that just isn't an option for Butterfly. I have to believe that the best thing will work out for us. In the meantime, we have to fight for it. 

We still have not said anything to Butterfly about it- we won't until summer when we have a plan. I just can't imagine what that will do to her. I feel like it is our fault somehow- we should have been more thoughtful or protective...planned better. Would we have gone to this school if we knew the charter was going to be pulled? We did know it was a possibility. But, when I look back I still have to say yes, we would have moved to this school. We could not stay at her old school. We were at the end of the line there. I guess no matter what happens, this has introduced us to a wonderful community, to NVC and to humanistic approach to education. And that has been extremely valuable.