Reflection Day

Yesterday, Butterfly Girl was sent home from school for a Reflection Day. She was cycling really high- unable to control her body. She scratched a teacher, threw some dominoes and a few other things. She was also acting super silly. It is like on the inside she is cycling so fast she can't focus on any one thing- she giggles, throws her body around, makes noises. Sometimes when she gets like that I just want to hold her tight to keep her from hurting herself or someone else.

So, we got the call from Teacher to come get her. She explained that because there was so much physical stuff happening she thought it best if Butterfly leave for a reflection day to assure the safety of the other students. When Partner was leaving with Butterfly, Teacher told Butterfly that she was not mad at her. I think this is key for Butterfly. On the way home, Partner told Butterfly that she was not in trouble or  mad at her either. When she walked in the door, I told her I wasn't mad at her either. This is a much different way than we have handle it in the past- often reacting with anger, frustration, handing out consequences, etc. - this is something new we have learned at this school.

I asked her if she knew why she had been sent home but she was still too out of synch to respond much. I told her that the school needs to keep everyone safe including her and the other kids. She was given a Reflection Day so we could talk about what happened and make an agreement about what to do next time she feels this way. 

Partner had been given a piece of paper to fill out with Butterfly  and then bring back to school toady. They will meet with the Principal to review the plan that Butterfly has worked out. Later, when Butterfly had slowed down a little, I showed Butterfly the paper and talked about going to see the Principal in the morning. She immediately acted out- trying to grab the paper, calling it stupid, yelling no!   From the previous interactions with Principals and just school in general, Butterfly is extremely anxious whenever she "gets in trouble."  We have to change that way of thinking here- to let her know that she is not "in trouble" but that it is important for everyone to be safe at school. To remind her that we want to work with her to help be sure that happens. 

After some time, Partner got her to sit and talk through the questions and create an agreement to be shared with Principal this morning- I imagine wake-up time will be very difficult today when she remembers she needs to talk with the Principal. Partner is going to try to slip into his office before the meeting to make sure he is aware of her past experiences with Principals, getting "in trouble", etc. How this is handled today could be a major turning point for Butterfly. 

Late yesterday, Butterfly and I were running an errand. I asked her if there was anything different about how things happened at this school on rough days versus her old school. From the back seat, she exclaimed "Yes!" I asked how is it different? She responded, without hesitation, "They were all nice. They wanted to help. That made me feel good."  And, of course, that made me feel good.