Slow Healing

Yesterday was Butterfly's student-led parent/ teacher conference at school.  Interestingly, she chose not to participate. I recognized that even talking about it on Sunday evening with Butterfly proved challenging. At some point it dawned on me that she was probably feeling worried about it because her experience at the other school with conferences was never good. Sure enough- she was terrified and felt like she was in trouble.

We talked about it and she did sit with me and answer some of the questions on Sunday evening in preparation. 

What are you very good at in school? "Jump rope and drawing." 

What worries you? "Being called mean names by kids at school." 

How do you feel about writing? "I love it because I like to draw girls with lots of detail."  

How do you feel about reading? "Scared because I think I will mess up and I try and I try so hard. Someday I will be good if I try." 

What are your goals for this year? "Learning to jump rope on the big jump rope and drawing better." 

How can we help you achieve those goals? "Practice with me and give me stuff to draw." 

How will you know when you have reached your goals? "Happy. I will be very happy."

I met Partner, Butterfly and Brother at school for the conference on Monday afternoon. We headed to the outdoor classroom to meet. Butterfly ran off and hid- she did not want to participate. Finally, she came with us to the classroom. Teacher talked with her about her fears, the reasons we do the conferences, etc. Butterfly chose not to participate formally. 

Butterfly was free to do this- there was no forcing her to sit with us. There was no disappointed from Teacher in Butterfly's lack of participation. There was only acceptance of where Butterfly was at the moment. Because of that, as the meeting went on she did wonder over and check on Partner and my answers every so often- correcting them or adding to them. 

It felt so good to observe her trusting that her feelings were being heard. Trusting that her needs were valid and they would be met. It is like observing a slow healing. Sometimes I feel like she is a wild animal, slowly beginning to integrate into a domesticated pack. Not losing her spirit but knowing that she is accepted just as she is.